Why do I call myself Rockin’ Ron the Friendly Pirate? Let’s break it down: Rockin’ is about music, attitude, and a ship’s motion on the sea; Ron is the name given to me by my mother; Friendly means thoughtful and nice; and finally, Pirate is a daring, fun-loving, and costume wearing purveyor of nautical-themed mischief. But why do I wear the patch above my eye? It is non-threatening to little children, it is less cliché than wearing it on me eye, I get dizzy when I wear it over me eye for an extended period of time, and it looks silly on my nose.
Isn’t the name Friendly Pirate an oxymoron, like the term Jumbo Shrimp? Yes, it is an oxymoron (just don’t call me a moron, unless you want ‘MORE Ron’ – haha). Generally, pirates are defined as thieves on a body of water. There have been pirates as long as people have been sailing. The pirates we are most familiar with in Western Culture are those from the Golden Age of Piracy when the European Powers were dividing up the spoils of the New World. Listen to my song "Pirates and Privateers" to hear about some of the Golden Age Pirates. Anyway, I talk and sing like a Pirate (no bad words of course), and I also dress and dance like a Pirate, but the only thing I want to steal is your heart!
What about me family, you ask? Me pappy Renaldo makes locks for Treasure Chests. His locks are so fancy and so expensive, he has to give away the keys at no extra charge. So, they call him the "Free-key Pirate". Me mum Penelope loves tropical fruit such as oranges, bananas, and pineapple (her favorite). So ,they call her the "Fruity Pirate". The union of “Free-key” and “Fruity” produced “Friendly”, and my sister Pearl the Purple Pirate Princess (huh?). Other family includes my cousin named Silver Long Johns, who is known as the Cranky Pirate. I have pets - Polly Esther Pants, Scurvy Dog, and Scaredy Cat.
How did we end up in Vermont? Well, it is close to the St. Lawrence Seaway, but the real reason is that me mum, the "Fruity Pirate", heard that Vermont has pineapple trees. At first, she was disappointed that there were no pineapple trees... but there are pine trees and apple tress. So, we docked the Friend Ship and dropped anchor.
One last question. Am I the famous jazz bassist Ron Carter? No, but he did release an album called Peg Leg – haha!
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